My mom has a nurse who has been coming to see her here at home for about the past 5 years. I like her very much, but she has one habit that has bothered me. Many health care professionals feel the need to force the patient & family to "face reality". It's gotten to the point with this one nurse that I irritate her by interrupting her little speeches. She tried again the other day. She wanted to talk to me alone before we went in my mom's room. I thought "uh oh". We sat down, she leaned forward, looked me in the eye & said "Pam, you know your mother is a very old woman...". I waited for her to take a short pause before I interrupted her again & said "Just because I don't want to talk about it doesn't mean I don't know it". I went on to use about 3 metaphors such as "I may appear to have my head in the sand but I don't. I just don't want to talk about it"..I think she finally understood!!!! We shook hands. My mom hasn't been out of the house for 2 1/2 years. The only place I want my mom to go is to the emergency room if an emergency happens. We are not going to go to any specialist's offices. S/he would just want to order a bunch of tests which would mean more trips out which would drive my mom crazy & wear her out. The nurse practitioner & RN will continue to see my mom here at home & try to manage her care & medications. We are lucky that there is a lab that comes to the house so that my mom's blood can be tested every few weeks to see if her medications or diet need to be adjusted. In other words, just because my mom is a "very old woman" does not mean we don't want vigilant care. Infections will get treated, fluid imbalances will be addressed & things that can be fixed or improved will be. This nurse wasn't suggesting we ignore my mom, but the message I was getting from her was that she thought I was living in "la la land". (Even if I wasn't facing "reality" I still don't understand this need from medical professionals to beat you over the head with it). I believe in the old Yiddish expression "Think good & it will be good" "Trakht gut vet zein gut". Our home will remain a place to talk about what is going right, what is good, what is optimistic. Words & attitudes affect one's surroundings.
The very day after the nurse visited, I went out for one of my doctor's appointments. My mom was home with our most excellent caregiver Charlotte. When I left it was cloudy & ready to drizzle. When I got home, it was 40 degrees F & pouring rain. Charlotte had a cup of tea waiting for me because my mom had ASKED her to make it as I would be cold when I came home. My mom had told her to be sure not to make black tea, because I'm not allowed to drink that. She is correct. I am not allowed to drink black tea. Pretty good for a "very old woman" !
Thursday, January 1, 2015
Texting Etiquette
Not long ago I was invited, via text message, to an important event just 3 days away. I was offended! Maybe you wouldn't be, but I was. As readers will know, I need to arrange caregiving for my 88 year old mother whenever I am planning to be out of the house. I can not leave her alone. I stewed about this invitation for a while, trying to figure out if I could make arrangements on such short notice. I was also annoyed at being invited at the last moment & not even with a phone call, but with a text message. I thought how to respond to this invitation for a few hours. Apparently, this was not fast enough, because the person who had invited me telephoned to find out if I had received the text message! Why not call me in the first place? Why not call me a week ago? Maybe I should save this righteous indignation for more important things, but I am not the person who could do that. I did manage to make arrangements so that I could attend, but apparently it's still bugging me! Ha!
Again not long ago, I saw a post on Facebook that someone who was a friend of a friend had passed away the previous night. This of course was sad, but the problem was not all of the family had yet been notified! Subsequent comments indicated that some of his relatives found out about the death on Facebook. Tragic. I think if we hear of a death, we should keep our fingers off the keys & make a phone call, an old fashioned telephone call. I appreciate the irony that someone who is blogging details of her life would object to people sharing too much on Facebook, but this is my choice & my life.
I know a few people who don't like congratulations, happy birthdays, invitations, etc issued online. They want phone calls or greeting cards. Yes, I know a wonderful woman who has a full collection of greeting cards & sends them out for holidays & birthdays. They are a treat to receive. "Snail" mail has its positive side. It's fun to open the mail box & find something other than a bill or junk mail. It's touching that someone took the time to personally reach out to you. I am not that motivated to send out cards like my friend does, but she likes me anyway.
Again not long ago, I saw a post on Facebook that someone who was a friend of a friend had passed away the previous night. This of course was sad, but the problem was not all of the family had yet been notified! Subsequent comments indicated that some of his relatives found out about the death on Facebook. Tragic. I think if we hear of a death, we should keep our fingers off the keys & make a phone call, an old fashioned telephone call. I appreciate the irony that someone who is blogging details of her life would object to people sharing too much on Facebook, but this is my choice & my life.
I know a few people who don't like congratulations, happy birthdays, invitations, etc issued online. They want phone calls or greeting cards. Yes, I know a wonderful woman who has a full collection of greeting cards & sends them out for holidays & birthdays. They are a treat to receive. "Snail" mail has its positive side. It's fun to open the mail box & find something other than a bill or junk mail. It's touching that someone took the time to personally reach out to you. I am not that motivated to send out cards like my friend does, but she likes me anyway.
Monday, November 17, 2014
What's For Dinner?
I spend a lot of time thinking about what I'm going to eat. There are no quick stops for me at Burger King or similar places. I rarely eat out at all. My preferences, personal decisions, religion/faith & health dictate every bite I eat. It wasn't always like this, I used to eat almost anything that sounded good & anywhere it was served.
About 20 plus years ago, I began a journey to become a vegetarian. This was not because I thought it might be a healthier diet or that it would be better for the planet, it was because I wanted to stop eating anything that used to have a face. I grew weary of looking at something "dead" on my plate. First came beef, later chicken, but never fish. I just couldn't stop eating fish so I call myself a pescatarian.
However, I don't eat just any fish because also within the last 20 years I decided to start keeping kosher to honor the fact that I am Jewish. That means no shellfish or fish without fins & scales. I actually have an app on my phone called "Kosher Fish" which offers a list of what is & is not kosher. Shellfish is not kosher so no lobster, shrimp, crabs, scallops, clams, etc.... Probably everyone knows that pork products are not kosher. Keeping kosher also means not mixing milk & meat products, which is not hard for me as I don't eat meat anymore. I try to eat only at kosher establishments, but I will admit that I don't yet have the discipline to do that all of the time. When I'm in a non kosher environment, I stick to salad & fish. Keeping kosher also means very careful shopping & label reading so that I don't accidentally eat a non kosher ingredient. I used to eat a lot of non kosher food before I made this change in my life. I never consciously ate pork, but many years ago, I turned a blind eye as to what was in that chef's salad. (Now I think "Yuck!")
When my sister died in 2006 at the very young age of 54(from the same kind of cancer I recently had), I almost cracked up. I needed to see a healthcare professional to help me learn to cope (something I'm still trying to do). He helped me in many ways, one of which was telling me I needed to decrease my caffeine intake. Over the next month or two I gradually decreased caffeine until I was not drinking any coffee ,caffeinated tea or soda.
One of my doctors told me not to consume: salt, black tea or calcium carbonate. Two of my doctors told me to eat a high fiber diet. (For a long time I was on a medically prescribed low fiber diet). I'm not supposed to drink any soda caffeinated or not (I will admit to a very occasional diet ginger ale or 7 up).
Oh and the kicker? I must be the only woman in history to gain weight while being treated for cancer so now I am on a diet which means reduced calories, fat & carbohydrates.
So what do I make for dinner? Well you can be guaranteed it will be kosher, pescatarian ,high fiber & low calorie with no added salt, no caffeine, no black tea, no soda & nothing with calcium carbonate in it. OK, what's for dessert?
About 20 plus years ago, I began a journey to become a vegetarian. This was not because I thought it might be a healthier diet or that it would be better for the planet, it was because I wanted to stop eating anything that used to have a face. I grew weary of looking at something "dead" on my plate. First came beef, later chicken, but never fish. I just couldn't stop eating fish so I call myself a pescatarian.
However, I don't eat just any fish because also within the last 20 years I decided to start keeping kosher to honor the fact that I am Jewish. That means no shellfish or fish without fins & scales. I actually have an app on my phone called "Kosher Fish" which offers a list of what is & is not kosher. Shellfish is not kosher so no lobster, shrimp, crabs, scallops, clams, etc.... Probably everyone knows that pork products are not kosher. Keeping kosher also means not mixing milk & meat products, which is not hard for me as I don't eat meat anymore. I try to eat only at kosher establishments, but I will admit that I don't yet have the discipline to do that all of the time. When I'm in a non kosher environment, I stick to salad & fish. Keeping kosher also means very careful shopping & label reading so that I don't accidentally eat a non kosher ingredient. I used to eat a lot of non kosher food before I made this change in my life. I never consciously ate pork, but many years ago, I turned a blind eye as to what was in that chef's salad. (Now I think "Yuck!")
When my sister died in 2006 at the very young age of 54(from the same kind of cancer I recently had), I almost cracked up. I needed to see a healthcare professional to help me learn to cope (something I'm still trying to do). He helped me in many ways, one of which was telling me I needed to decrease my caffeine intake. Over the next month or two I gradually decreased caffeine until I was not drinking any coffee ,caffeinated tea or soda.
One of my doctors told me not to consume: salt, black tea or calcium carbonate. Two of my doctors told me to eat a high fiber diet. (For a long time I was on a medically prescribed low fiber diet). I'm not supposed to drink any soda caffeinated or not (I will admit to a very occasional diet ginger ale or 7 up).
Oh and the kicker? I must be the only woman in history to gain weight while being treated for cancer so now I am on a diet which means reduced calories, fat & carbohydrates.
So what do I make for dinner? Well you can be guaranteed it will be kosher, pescatarian ,high fiber & low calorie with no added salt, no caffeine, no black tea, no soda & nothing with calcium carbonate in it. OK, what's for dessert?
Monday, November 3, 2014
Chai Circle
Yesterday was the annual retreat of Chai Circle at the posh Canyon Ranch Health Resort here in Tucson. Canyon Ranch is a world known resort. They have acres & acres of beautiful grounds with flowers, really old trees, some interesting sculptures & bathrooms with real towels. I may have been a little overly impressed by that, but there were stacks of clean towels meant just for me.
Chai Circle is a group of women in the local Jewish Community with a history of cancer. This was the group's 10th retreat & the first that I attended. I have only been a member of the group since January of this year. What a day. It was fabulous! There were no registration fees. We were guests of Canyon Ranch. I've been dieting, but I ate a delicious breakfast & lunch at the resort. How many calories could it be? It's a HEALTH resort. Breakfast was bagels, lox, fresh fruit, granola, coffee cake & freshly squeezed orange juice. Lunch was whole wheat tortilla wraps, salads & more fresh fruit. In between all this eating, we had lots of time for small & large group discussions and a presentation by an integrative medicine physician called: Movement & Dancing for Optimal Health. We also had an introduction to NIA dance class led by a member of the group. I think NIA stands for non impact aerobics. The gym we used at the resort had a cushioned floor which was marvelous. The music the teacher used was Disco. She stressed that no matter how fast the music, we were to move at our own pace. The doctor who had given the earlier presentation joined us in the class. The class worked for everyone. Some people were nearly as good as the teacher & some stayed seated & danced with their arms. Me? I was able to stay with it for 20 minutes which is about my current limit for strenuous exercise.
By happenstance the only three people in the group of 20-25 with current or history of colorectal cancer sat next to each other for the doctor's presentation. We bonded & spent a good deal of the free time together. Thanks to my time with the other two, I have answered some issues I had been struggling with. It is perfectly normal to have some trouble getting used to being done or almost done with treatment. It's not that we would rather be sick, far from it, but there is "separation anxiety" from caregivers, doctors, treatment, other patients etc... (I can't speak for everyone, but I also became accustomed to the intensity of treatment & multiple complications). We feel safer, more secure surrounded by people who really know. Other people offer sincere empathy & it is welcome, but they don't actually KNOW what you've been through. This is the reason I think why I only want to take exercise classes at the Oncology clinic right now. It occurred to me that I would like to be thought of as recovering rather than aging. Cancer is my reason for being so stiff & out of shape, not my age. I know I wasn't exactly an athlete before, but nothing like this.
I saw so much contentment or peacefulness in some of the other ladies there. They are not content with having cancer or of their possible premature death. I think they are just content with TODAY. "Normal" is what you feel & where you are-embrace it. It is what it is. I waste so much energy being worried about one thing after another. I want to be more content, enjoy the present& be more mindful. I will try. However, the same genes that probably gave me cancer also predispose me to worry, worry, worry. I want to try to be less reactive. I want to worry less about what other people think of me. The truth is I need to worry less about what I think of me.
Chai Circle is a group of women in the local Jewish Community with a history of cancer. This was the group's 10th retreat & the first that I attended. I have only been a member of the group since January of this year. What a day. It was fabulous! There were no registration fees. We were guests of Canyon Ranch. I've been dieting, but I ate a delicious breakfast & lunch at the resort. How many calories could it be? It's a HEALTH resort. Breakfast was bagels, lox, fresh fruit, granola, coffee cake & freshly squeezed orange juice. Lunch was whole wheat tortilla wraps, salads & more fresh fruit. In between all this eating, we had lots of time for small & large group discussions and a presentation by an integrative medicine physician called: Movement & Dancing for Optimal Health. We also had an introduction to NIA dance class led by a member of the group. I think NIA stands for non impact aerobics. The gym we used at the resort had a cushioned floor which was marvelous. The music the teacher used was Disco. She stressed that no matter how fast the music, we were to move at our own pace. The doctor who had given the earlier presentation joined us in the class. The class worked for everyone. Some people were nearly as good as the teacher & some stayed seated & danced with their arms. Me? I was able to stay with it for 20 minutes which is about my current limit for strenuous exercise.
By happenstance the only three people in the group of 20-25 with current or history of colorectal cancer sat next to each other for the doctor's presentation. We bonded & spent a good deal of the free time together. Thanks to my time with the other two, I have answered some issues I had been struggling with. It is perfectly normal to have some trouble getting used to being done or almost done with treatment. It's not that we would rather be sick, far from it, but there is "separation anxiety" from caregivers, doctors, treatment, other patients etc... (I can't speak for everyone, but I also became accustomed to the intensity of treatment & multiple complications). We feel safer, more secure surrounded by people who really know. Other people offer sincere empathy & it is welcome, but they don't actually KNOW what you've been through. This is the reason I think why I only want to take exercise classes at the Oncology clinic right now. It occurred to me that I would like to be thought of as recovering rather than aging. Cancer is my reason for being so stiff & out of shape, not my age. I know I wasn't exactly an athlete before, but nothing like this.
I saw so much contentment or peacefulness in some of the other ladies there. They are not content with having cancer or of their possible premature death. I think they are just content with TODAY. "Normal" is what you feel & where you are-embrace it. It is what it is. I waste so much energy being worried about one thing after another. I want to be more content, enjoy the present& be more mindful. I will try. However, the same genes that probably gave me cancer also predispose me to worry, worry, worry. I want to try to be less reactive. I want to worry less about what other people think of me. The truth is I need to worry less about what I think of me.
Wednesday, October 29, 2014
Not Lost In Translation
Do all elders become passive-aggressive or is it just at our house? The other day I wrote a Facebook post about when my mom asks "Is this what we usually watch?" what she really means is "Change the channel!". I thought it was funny & so did a couple of people on Facebook. The thing is I've been thinking & noticing that she does this in lots of different situations. They are not all funny. Some examples follow:
"Are you eating potato chips?" (even when I'm eating vegetable sticks) means "I want potato chips" or it might mean she wants to do some emotional eating. It's a clue that I might need to give her one of her pills. She hardly ever just says "I feel nervous".
"When is (name of caregiver) coming?" This means she wants someone who will do more things for her than I will. I encourage her to do the things that she can do. I don't want those skills to disappear. When she says "I can't" I say "You did it yesterday". The caregiver is only here about 15 hours a week. I have asked her to "spoil" my mom a little cause sometimes I just don't feel healthy & energetic. I want my mom to get some small amount of "being waited upon" cause she deserves it.
Come to think about it, most of it all boils down to her asking questions instead of saying what's on her mind. "Have I had any Tylenol today?" means she needs some.
We had a little problem the other night about what she was going to wear to bed. She has 4 gowns she likes to wear to bed, but they have been washed so many times they are LITERALLY falling apart. I'm serious. They are torn & have holes in them. I have ordered new ones, but they are not the same. I can't find exactly the same thing. Of course the new ones are thicker cause they haven't been laundered 300 times. She says they are too hot to sleep in & she wants the old raggedy ones. I have actually put one of them in the rag bag in the garage. She was adamant & I let it go too far. At one point during this she actually wanted to wear a flannel night gown cause even it would be cooler than the new short sleeved cotton gown. I think she was just mad at me. Part of me wants to have my way & have her appreciate the new nice gowns. Part of me is scared that someone might see her in the old ones & think I'm not taking good care of her. The sane part of me finally realized it will be chilly in a few more weeks & she will not care how "hot" she gets at night. The old ones can just disappear over the winter & not reappear. She slept in the gown with holes & was happy.
"Are you eating potato chips?" (even when I'm eating vegetable sticks) means "I want potato chips" or it might mean she wants to do some emotional eating. It's a clue that I might need to give her one of her pills. She hardly ever just says "I feel nervous".
"When is (name of caregiver) coming?" This means she wants someone who will do more things for her than I will. I encourage her to do the things that she can do. I don't want those skills to disappear. When she says "I can't" I say "You did it yesterday". The caregiver is only here about 15 hours a week. I have asked her to "spoil" my mom a little cause sometimes I just don't feel healthy & energetic. I want my mom to get some small amount of "being waited upon" cause she deserves it.
Come to think about it, most of it all boils down to her asking questions instead of saying what's on her mind. "Have I had any Tylenol today?" means she needs some.
We had a little problem the other night about what she was going to wear to bed. She has 4 gowns she likes to wear to bed, but they have been washed so many times they are LITERALLY falling apart. I'm serious. They are torn & have holes in them. I have ordered new ones, but they are not the same. I can't find exactly the same thing. Of course the new ones are thicker cause they haven't been laundered 300 times. She says they are too hot to sleep in & she wants the old raggedy ones. I have actually put one of them in the rag bag in the garage. She was adamant & I let it go too far. At one point during this she actually wanted to wear a flannel night gown cause even it would be cooler than the new short sleeved cotton gown. I think she was just mad at me. Part of me wants to have my way & have her appreciate the new nice gowns. Part of me is scared that someone might see her in the old ones & think I'm not taking good care of her. The sane part of me finally realized it will be chilly in a few more weeks & she will not care how "hot" she gets at night. The old ones can just disappear over the winter & not reappear. She slept in the gown with holes & was happy.
Thursday, October 23, 2014
Comment Addiction
I keep promising myself I will stop reading comments on posts & articles. I can't seem to keep this promise. I am drawn to the melee. I can't resist. My name is Pam & I am a "commentaholic". Most times I just get upset & want to throw something or think about eating a plate of potatoes or starting smoking again but sometimes, I enter the fray with a comment of my own. Wrong! Usually a huge mistake. Saving the world will not come about as a result of my winning a "Twittergument".
There are lots of reasons not to read comments. Many of them are written by severely undereducated people (the your/you're confusers). Some people just get off on the chance to anonymously bully someone or to express violent, racist or sexist provocative ideas. Others take the opportunity to go on at length over some conspiracy theory from old ones (the Jews control the world) to newer ones (vapor trails). Of course there are also comments from people who just disagree with me!
The group of commenters that are irritating me today are of the blame the victim mindset. Yesterday a precious baby was murdered in Jerusalem. That brought out the "Israeli's are baby killers" contingent. Today I was reading an article from The Guardian about how many women are murdered every day by husbands or boyfriends and the light sentence that a certain South African male athlete received for murdering Reeva Steenkamp. Apparently his sentence is shorter than if he had killed a rhinoceros. I'm not kidding. Of course, there were thoughtful comments, but there were too many that were not. It was the usual anti woman tripe such as women are asking for it if they don't leave an abusive relationship, etc.
I think some people blame the victim because it makes them feel safer as they think they would never put themselves into that situation. Others are just mean.
There are lots of reasons not to read comments. Many of them are written by severely undereducated people (the your/you're confusers). Some people just get off on the chance to anonymously bully someone or to express violent, racist or sexist provocative ideas. Others take the opportunity to go on at length over some conspiracy theory from old ones (the Jews control the world) to newer ones (vapor trails). Of course there are also comments from people who just disagree with me!
The group of commenters that are irritating me today are of the blame the victim mindset. Yesterday a precious baby was murdered in Jerusalem. That brought out the "Israeli's are baby killers" contingent. Today I was reading an article from The Guardian about how many women are murdered every day by husbands or boyfriends and the light sentence that a certain South African male athlete received for murdering Reeva Steenkamp. Apparently his sentence is shorter than if he had killed a rhinoceros. I'm not kidding. Of course, there were thoughtful comments, but there were too many that were not. It was the usual anti woman tripe such as women are asking for it if they don't leave an abusive relationship, etc.
I think some people blame the victim because it makes them feel safer as they think they would never put themselves into that situation. Others are just mean.
Tuesday, October 21, 2014
Dedicated to Nora Ephron
In honor of one of my favorite writers, the fabulous Nora Ephron, today's post will begin with a recipe. This is based on a recipe of Ina Garten which I "Pamified".
Warm Tuna Salad
Ingredients:
2 cups Israeli couscous (I didn't have any couscous in the house so I used barley)
14 oz of fancy Italian tuna packaged with oil (I used a large can of normal tuna packed in water)
2tsp lemon zest
1/4 cup lemon juice
1/2 cup olive oil( too much, I will use my own good sense the next time)
3 T. capers (not enough capers for me, I easily used twice as many)
1/2 cup Kalamata olives ( again I didn't have any so I used a can of Safeway brand black olives)
1/2 cup roasted red bell peppers ( Ina used jarred, I made my own)
2 tsp garlic
1 cup scallions (seemed like an awful lot, so I just used about 3 scallions)
1/4 cup basil (I used those frozen Dorot basil cubes you can buy at Trader Joe's)
juice of 1/2 lemon
For some reason, Ina had one and a half tablespoons of salt in this. How much you use is between you & your doctor
pepper to taste
1. Make couscous ( or barley)
2. Combine tuna, lemon zest, 1/4 cup lemon juice, olive oil, capers, olives, red bell pepper, garlic & some pepper (Ina suggested 1 1/2 tsp)
3. Pour hot couscous or barley onto tuna mixture. Toss it all together, cover & set aside for 10-15 minutes stirring occasionally. Just before serving stir in scallions, basil & juice of 1/2 lemon.
Serve warm or at room temperature. It was delicious, but as I said, I'm reducing the olive oil the next time.
Every one should read "Heartburn" by Nora. It's a fictionalized account of her marriage to journalist Carl Bernstein, has lots of food talk & recipes mixed in with accounts of Carl's adultery. The book is much better than the movie starring Meryl Streep & Jack Nicholson. As I remember the movie has a cool soundtrack, though.
Ok, back to ME, of course.
My blood test came back normal! No more worries about my Parathyroid. There will be some follow up tests & maybe some fiddling with the meds they gave me. Why do I spend so much time & energy worrying?
I must be the first cancer patient in history to GAIN weight. I did lose some at the beginning cause I felt sick & had the radiation going on, but then after my first surgery & during chemotherapy I was ravenous. One reason is that they gave me steroids as part of a pre chemo "cocktail". At some point I started emotional eating as a treatment for my depression & anxiety about having uninsured cancer & lots of complications. The upshot is now I am dieting. I have lost 4 pounds in about 4 weeks, pretty unimpressive, but at least I'm not gaining any more.
Went to my second Yoga class yesterday. I got very upset with myself cause I felt like the most uncoordinated person in the world. Almost started crying in public again. Thankfully, that hasn't happened in a long time. The moves & poses are complex. You don't do just one thing at a time. The teacher gave me a little talk after class. Some of the other ladies in the class have been coming for years. I shouldn't judge myself against them. She said I was strong in some ways. Remind me to ask her next week where I am strong. Today I am just a little sore. I wish I could go twice a week to the class. I'm going to have to figure out how to do that. My body isn't the only thing that has to be coordinated, so does the care giving for my mother.
Warm Tuna Salad
Ingredients:
2 cups Israeli couscous (I didn't have any couscous in the house so I used barley)
14 oz of fancy Italian tuna packaged with oil (I used a large can of normal tuna packed in water)
2tsp lemon zest
1/4 cup lemon juice
1/2 cup olive oil( too much, I will use my own good sense the next time)
3 T. capers (not enough capers for me, I easily used twice as many)
1/2 cup Kalamata olives ( again I didn't have any so I used a can of Safeway brand black olives)
1/2 cup roasted red bell peppers ( Ina used jarred, I made my own)
2 tsp garlic
1 cup scallions (seemed like an awful lot, so I just used about 3 scallions)
1/4 cup basil (I used those frozen Dorot basil cubes you can buy at Trader Joe's)
juice of 1/2 lemon
For some reason, Ina had one and a half tablespoons of salt in this. How much you use is between you & your doctor
pepper to taste
1. Make couscous ( or barley)
2. Combine tuna, lemon zest, 1/4 cup lemon juice, olive oil, capers, olives, red bell pepper, garlic & some pepper (Ina suggested 1 1/2 tsp)
3. Pour hot couscous or barley onto tuna mixture. Toss it all together, cover & set aside for 10-15 minutes stirring occasionally. Just before serving stir in scallions, basil & juice of 1/2 lemon.
Serve warm or at room temperature. It was delicious, but as I said, I'm reducing the olive oil the next time.
Every one should read "Heartburn" by Nora. It's a fictionalized account of her marriage to journalist Carl Bernstein, has lots of food talk & recipes mixed in with accounts of Carl's adultery. The book is much better than the movie starring Meryl Streep & Jack Nicholson. As I remember the movie has a cool soundtrack, though.
Ok, back to ME, of course.
My blood test came back normal! No more worries about my Parathyroid. There will be some follow up tests & maybe some fiddling with the meds they gave me. Why do I spend so much time & energy worrying?
I must be the first cancer patient in history to GAIN weight. I did lose some at the beginning cause I felt sick & had the radiation going on, but then after my first surgery & during chemotherapy I was ravenous. One reason is that they gave me steroids as part of a pre chemo "cocktail". At some point I started emotional eating as a treatment for my depression & anxiety about having uninsured cancer & lots of complications. The upshot is now I am dieting. I have lost 4 pounds in about 4 weeks, pretty unimpressive, but at least I'm not gaining any more.
Went to my second Yoga class yesterday. I got very upset with myself cause I felt like the most uncoordinated person in the world. Almost started crying in public again. Thankfully, that hasn't happened in a long time. The moves & poses are complex. You don't do just one thing at a time. The teacher gave me a little talk after class. Some of the other ladies in the class have been coming for years. I shouldn't judge myself against them. She said I was strong in some ways. Remind me to ask her next week where I am strong. Today I am just a little sore. I wish I could go twice a week to the class. I'm going to have to figure out how to do that. My body isn't the only thing that has to be coordinated, so does the care giving for my mother.
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