I spend a lot of time thinking about what I'm going to eat. There are no quick stops for me at Burger King or similar places. I rarely eat out at all. My preferences, personal decisions, religion/faith & health dictate every bite I eat. It wasn't always like this, I used to eat almost anything that sounded good & anywhere it was served.
About 20 plus years ago, I began a journey to become a vegetarian. This was not because I thought it might be a healthier diet or that it would be better for the planet, it was because I wanted to stop eating anything that used to have a face. I grew weary of looking at something "dead" on my plate. First came beef, later chicken, but never fish. I just couldn't stop eating fish so I call myself a pescatarian.
However, I don't eat just any fish because also within the last 20 years I decided to start keeping kosher to honor the fact that I am Jewish. That means no shellfish or fish without fins & scales. I actually have an app on my phone called "Kosher Fish" which offers a list of what is & is not kosher. Shellfish is not kosher so no lobster, shrimp, crabs, scallops, clams, etc.... Probably everyone knows that pork products are not kosher. Keeping kosher also means not mixing milk & meat products, which is not hard for me as I don't eat meat anymore. I try to eat only at kosher establishments, but I will admit that I don't yet have the discipline to do that all of the time. When I'm in a non kosher environment, I stick to salad & fish. Keeping kosher also means very careful shopping & label reading so that I don't accidentally eat a non kosher ingredient. I used to eat a lot of non kosher food before I made this change in my life. I never consciously ate pork, but many years ago, I turned a blind eye as to what was in that chef's salad. (Now I think "Yuck!")
When my sister died in 2006 at the very young age of 54(from the same kind of cancer I recently had), I almost cracked up. I needed to see a healthcare professional to help me learn to cope (something I'm still trying to do). He helped me in many ways, one of which was telling me I needed to decrease my caffeine intake. Over the next month or two I gradually decreased caffeine until I was not drinking any coffee ,caffeinated tea or soda.
One of my doctors told me not to consume: salt, black tea or calcium carbonate. Two of my doctors told me to eat a high fiber diet. (For a long time I was on a medically prescribed low fiber diet). I'm not supposed to drink any soda caffeinated or not (I will admit to a very occasional diet ginger ale or 7 up).
Oh and the kicker? I must be the only woman in history to gain weight while being treated for cancer so now I am on a diet which means reduced calories, fat & carbohydrates.
So what do I make for dinner? Well you can be guaranteed it will be kosher, pescatarian ,high fiber & low calorie with no added salt, no caffeine, no black tea, no soda & nothing with calcium carbonate in it. OK, what's for dessert?
Monday, November 17, 2014
Monday, November 3, 2014
Chai Circle
Yesterday was the annual retreat of Chai Circle at the posh Canyon Ranch Health Resort here in Tucson. Canyon Ranch is a world known resort. They have acres & acres of beautiful grounds with flowers, really old trees, some interesting sculptures & bathrooms with real towels. I may have been a little overly impressed by that, but there were stacks of clean towels meant just for me.
Chai Circle is a group of women in the local Jewish Community with a history of cancer. This was the group's 10th retreat & the first that I attended. I have only been a member of the group since January of this year. What a day. It was fabulous! There were no registration fees. We were guests of Canyon Ranch. I've been dieting, but I ate a delicious breakfast & lunch at the resort. How many calories could it be? It's a HEALTH resort. Breakfast was bagels, lox, fresh fruit, granola, coffee cake & freshly squeezed orange juice. Lunch was whole wheat tortilla wraps, salads & more fresh fruit. In between all this eating, we had lots of time for small & large group discussions and a presentation by an integrative medicine physician called: Movement & Dancing for Optimal Health. We also had an introduction to NIA dance class led by a member of the group. I think NIA stands for non impact aerobics. The gym we used at the resort had a cushioned floor which was marvelous. The music the teacher used was Disco. She stressed that no matter how fast the music, we were to move at our own pace. The doctor who had given the earlier presentation joined us in the class. The class worked for everyone. Some people were nearly as good as the teacher & some stayed seated & danced with their arms. Me? I was able to stay with it for 20 minutes which is about my current limit for strenuous exercise.
By happenstance the only three people in the group of 20-25 with current or history of colorectal cancer sat next to each other for the doctor's presentation. We bonded & spent a good deal of the free time together. Thanks to my time with the other two, I have answered some issues I had been struggling with. It is perfectly normal to have some trouble getting used to being done or almost done with treatment. It's not that we would rather be sick, far from it, but there is "separation anxiety" from caregivers, doctors, treatment, other patients etc... (I can't speak for everyone, but I also became accustomed to the intensity of treatment & multiple complications). We feel safer, more secure surrounded by people who really know. Other people offer sincere empathy & it is welcome, but they don't actually KNOW what you've been through. This is the reason I think why I only want to take exercise classes at the Oncology clinic right now. It occurred to me that I would like to be thought of as recovering rather than aging. Cancer is my reason for being so stiff & out of shape, not my age. I know I wasn't exactly an athlete before, but nothing like this.
I saw so much contentment or peacefulness in some of the other ladies there. They are not content with having cancer or of their possible premature death. I think they are just content with TODAY. "Normal" is what you feel & where you are-embrace it. It is what it is. I waste so much energy being worried about one thing after another. I want to be more content, enjoy the present& be more mindful. I will try. However, the same genes that probably gave me cancer also predispose me to worry, worry, worry. I want to try to be less reactive. I want to worry less about what other people think of me. The truth is I need to worry less about what I think of me.
Chai Circle is a group of women in the local Jewish Community with a history of cancer. This was the group's 10th retreat & the first that I attended. I have only been a member of the group since January of this year. What a day. It was fabulous! There were no registration fees. We were guests of Canyon Ranch. I've been dieting, but I ate a delicious breakfast & lunch at the resort. How many calories could it be? It's a HEALTH resort. Breakfast was bagels, lox, fresh fruit, granola, coffee cake & freshly squeezed orange juice. Lunch was whole wheat tortilla wraps, salads & more fresh fruit. In between all this eating, we had lots of time for small & large group discussions and a presentation by an integrative medicine physician called: Movement & Dancing for Optimal Health. We also had an introduction to NIA dance class led by a member of the group. I think NIA stands for non impact aerobics. The gym we used at the resort had a cushioned floor which was marvelous. The music the teacher used was Disco. She stressed that no matter how fast the music, we were to move at our own pace. The doctor who had given the earlier presentation joined us in the class. The class worked for everyone. Some people were nearly as good as the teacher & some stayed seated & danced with their arms. Me? I was able to stay with it for 20 minutes which is about my current limit for strenuous exercise.
By happenstance the only three people in the group of 20-25 with current or history of colorectal cancer sat next to each other for the doctor's presentation. We bonded & spent a good deal of the free time together. Thanks to my time with the other two, I have answered some issues I had been struggling with. It is perfectly normal to have some trouble getting used to being done or almost done with treatment. It's not that we would rather be sick, far from it, but there is "separation anxiety" from caregivers, doctors, treatment, other patients etc... (I can't speak for everyone, but I also became accustomed to the intensity of treatment & multiple complications). We feel safer, more secure surrounded by people who really know. Other people offer sincere empathy & it is welcome, but they don't actually KNOW what you've been through. This is the reason I think why I only want to take exercise classes at the Oncology clinic right now. It occurred to me that I would like to be thought of as recovering rather than aging. Cancer is my reason for being so stiff & out of shape, not my age. I know I wasn't exactly an athlete before, but nothing like this.
I saw so much contentment or peacefulness in some of the other ladies there. They are not content with having cancer or of their possible premature death. I think they are just content with TODAY. "Normal" is what you feel & where you are-embrace it. It is what it is. I waste so much energy being worried about one thing after another. I want to be more content, enjoy the present& be more mindful. I will try. However, the same genes that probably gave me cancer also predispose me to worry, worry, worry. I want to try to be less reactive. I want to worry less about what other people think of me. The truth is I need to worry less about what I think of me.
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