Boss In Training

Care giving for my mom has been a continuous learning experience.  I cherish every moment we have & everything I'm able to help her with.  She says " I don't want to be a burden to you." I tell her she is not a burden.  It is my honor to be able to help her now.

One thing I did not bargain on was being someone's boss.  I did everything here by myself until I couldn't do it anymore then I hired some caregivers to help me. I have made mistakes.  I mentioned at least one of them in a previous post "I have to leave at three o'clock".  I have made friends with some of the caregivers.  Not recommended.  There needs to be some respect for each other's roles & mutual recognition of the employer/employee relationship which is negated if you become "friends".  I waited too long to replace two caregivers who were not working out.  I kept thinking I would awaken one day & the two of them would suddenly discover all on their own that their performance was lacking. I had too much faith in being "lucky" rather than in directing their work.  On the other hand, I did post a short list of things to do each day on my mom's bathroom mirror.  I appear to have been the only one who read it.  There was one employee who thought she was directing my work.  I let that drag on way too long.  She thought it was appropriate work place behavior to roll her eyes, leave the room in a huff & then give me the silent treatment. Her explanation for this adolescent behavior was that I must not trust her if I kept "interfering".  What can I say to that? Thank you very much for your help & good luck in the future.

One employee pushed me to cut out a list of 10 questions to ask a home care agency about how they select their caregivers. The irony is that she is the one who caused the most problems.  Someday when I write my book, I will go into details, but the problems included fraud, alcoholism & possible theft of some of my mom's anti anxiety medications.

I resolve: I will stop making friends with the caregivers, I will keep our medications under lock & key,  I will not make them take a breathalyzer test before coming in the front door, but on the other hand maybe I should.

Annoying People

I should be able to get some peace & quiet in my own home, don't you think? No!!! Lately, the most peace & quiet I get is sitting in waiting rooms of various doctors.  The annoying people are at home.

I have prima donna caregivers (not all of them, but enough to matter).  They come here & take over & offer opinions on everything.  I have long since given up the notion that there is any chance of consistency when it comes to working with my mother.  I don't sit quietly & let this happen.  I try to tell them, but get responses like "Oh, I know how to get people out of bed" before I get more than a few words out.  Anything more direct from me is met with either stony silence or an argument.

There is a never ending parade of not quite, but close to  really judgemental people marching though our home.  They are irritating is various degrees.  I confess that there are actually a couple that I look forward to seeing.  However, twice this morning I was asked "What is the matter with you?".  The answer is swirling in my head "Maybe you are gnawing at my last nerve".  I was also told "You look tired".  Thanks a lot for pointing out how bad I look.  I could have gotten up earlier than 5:00 AM & taken time to put some makeup on so I wouldn't look tired.  I was also told "You seem agitated today".  Yes I am, because you annoy me & I have to pretend that you don't.

I also deal with annoying phone calls.  Those "Microsoft Windows" scammers keep calling.  I think up ridiculous things to tell them such as "I don't have a computer".  Would you believe that the guy at the other end of the line actually shouted at me "You are a liar, you are a liar, you are a liar..." until I hung up.  He was more annoyed with me than I was with him. Maybe there is some justice.