Do all elders become passive-aggressive or is it just at our house? The other day I wrote a Facebook post about when my mom asks "Is this what we usually watch?" what she really means is "Change the channel!". I thought it was funny & so did a couple of people on Facebook. The thing is I've been thinking & noticing that she does this in lots of different situations. They are not all funny. Some examples follow:
"Are you eating potato chips?" (even when I'm eating vegetable sticks) means "I want potato chips" or it might mean she wants to do some emotional eating. It's a clue that I might need to give her one of her pills. She hardly ever just says "I feel nervous".
"When is (name of caregiver) coming?" This means she wants someone who will do more things for her than I will. I encourage her to do the things that she can do. I don't want those skills to disappear. When she says "I can't" I say "You did it yesterday". The caregiver is only here about 15 hours a week. I have asked her to "spoil" my mom a little cause sometimes I just don't feel healthy & energetic. I want my mom to get some small amount of "being waited upon" cause she deserves it.
Come to think about it, most of it all boils down to her asking questions instead of saying what's on her mind. "Have I had any Tylenol today?" means she needs some.
We had a little problem the other night about what she was going to wear to bed. She has 4 gowns she likes to wear to bed, but they have been washed so many times they are LITERALLY falling apart. I'm serious. They are torn & have holes in them. I have ordered new ones, but they are not the same. I can't find exactly the same thing. Of course the new ones are thicker cause they haven't been laundered 300 times. She says they are too hot to sleep in & she wants the old raggedy ones. I have actually put one of them in the rag bag in the garage. She was adamant & I let it go too far. At one point during this she actually wanted to wear a flannel night gown cause even it would be cooler than the new short sleeved cotton gown. I think she was just mad at me. Part of me wants to have my way & have her appreciate the new nice gowns. Part of me is scared that someone might see her in the old ones & think I'm not taking good care of her. The sane part of me finally realized it will be chilly in a few more weeks & she will not care how "hot" she gets at night. The old ones can just disappear over the winter & not reappear. She slept in the gown with holes & was happy.
Wednesday, October 29, 2014
Thursday, October 23, 2014
Comment Addiction
I keep promising myself I will stop reading comments on posts & articles. I can't seem to keep this promise. I am drawn to the melee. I can't resist. My name is Pam & I am a "commentaholic". Most times I just get upset & want to throw something or think about eating a plate of potatoes or starting smoking again but sometimes, I enter the fray with a comment of my own. Wrong! Usually a huge mistake. Saving the world will not come about as a result of my winning a "Twittergument".
There are lots of reasons not to read comments. Many of them are written by severely undereducated people (the your/you're confusers). Some people just get off on the chance to anonymously bully someone or to express violent, racist or sexist provocative ideas. Others take the opportunity to go on at length over some conspiracy theory from old ones (the Jews control the world) to newer ones (vapor trails). Of course there are also comments from people who just disagree with me!
The group of commenters that are irritating me today are of the blame the victim mindset. Yesterday a precious baby was murdered in Jerusalem. That brought out the "Israeli's are baby killers" contingent. Today I was reading an article from The Guardian about how many women are murdered every day by husbands or boyfriends and the light sentence that a certain South African male athlete received for murdering Reeva Steenkamp. Apparently his sentence is shorter than if he had killed a rhinoceros. I'm not kidding. Of course, there were thoughtful comments, but there were too many that were not. It was the usual anti woman tripe such as women are asking for it if they don't leave an abusive relationship, etc.
I think some people blame the victim because it makes them feel safer as they think they would never put themselves into that situation. Others are just mean.
There are lots of reasons not to read comments. Many of them are written by severely undereducated people (the your/you're confusers). Some people just get off on the chance to anonymously bully someone or to express violent, racist or sexist provocative ideas. Others take the opportunity to go on at length over some conspiracy theory from old ones (the Jews control the world) to newer ones (vapor trails). Of course there are also comments from people who just disagree with me!
The group of commenters that are irritating me today are of the blame the victim mindset. Yesterday a precious baby was murdered in Jerusalem. That brought out the "Israeli's are baby killers" contingent. Today I was reading an article from The Guardian about how many women are murdered every day by husbands or boyfriends and the light sentence that a certain South African male athlete received for murdering Reeva Steenkamp. Apparently his sentence is shorter than if he had killed a rhinoceros. I'm not kidding. Of course, there were thoughtful comments, but there were too many that were not. It was the usual anti woman tripe such as women are asking for it if they don't leave an abusive relationship, etc.
I think some people blame the victim because it makes them feel safer as they think they would never put themselves into that situation. Others are just mean.
Tuesday, October 21, 2014
Dedicated to Nora Ephron
In honor of one of my favorite writers, the fabulous Nora Ephron, today's post will begin with a recipe. This is based on a recipe of Ina Garten which I "Pamified".
Warm Tuna Salad
Ingredients:
2 cups Israeli couscous (I didn't have any couscous in the house so I used barley)
14 oz of fancy Italian tuna packaged with oil (I used a large can of normal tuna packed in water)
2tsp lemon zest
1/4 cup lemon juice
1/2 cup olive oil( too much, I will use my own good sense the next time)
3 T. capers (not enough capers for me, I easily used twice as many)
1/2 cup Kalamata olives ( again I didn't have any so I used a can of Safeway brand black olives)
1/2 cup roasted red bell peppers ( Ina used jarred, I made my own)
2 tsp garlic
1 cup scallions (seemed like an awful lot, so I just used about 3 scallions)
1/4 cup basil (I used those frozen Dorot basil cubes you can buy at Trader Joe's)
juice of 1/2 lemon
For some reason, Ina had one and a half tablespoons of salt in this. How much you use is between you & your doctor
pepper to taste
1. Make couscous ( or barley)
2. Combine tuna, lemon zest, 1/4 cup lemon juice, olive oil, capers, olives, red bell pepper, garlic & some pepper (Ina suggested 1 1/2 tsp)
3. Pour hot couscous or barley onto tuna mixture. Toss it all together, cover & set aside for 10-15 minutes stirring occasionally. Just before serving stir in scallions, basil & juice of 1/2 lemon.
Serve warm or at room temperature. It was delicious, but as I said, I'm reducing the olive oil the next time.
Every one should read "Heartburn" by Nora. It's a fictionalized account of her marriage to journalist Carl Bernstein, has lots of food talk & recipes mixed in with accounts of Carl's adultery. The book is much better than the movie starring Meryl Streep & Jack Nicholson. As I remember the movie has a cool soundtrack, though.
Ok, back to ME, of course.
My blood test came back normal! No more worries about my Parathyroid. There will be some follow up tests & maybe some fiddling with the meds they gave me. Why do I spend so much time & energy worrying?
I must be the first cancer patient in history to GAIN weight. I did lose some at the beginning cause I felt sick & had the radiation going on, but then after my first surgery & during chemotherapy I was ravenous. One reason is that they gave me steroids as part of a pre chemo "cocktail". At some point I started emotional eating as a treatment for my depression & anxiety about having uninsured cancer & lots of complications. The upshot is now I am dieting. I have lost 4 pounds in about 4 weeks, pretty unimpressive, but at least I'm not gaining any more.
Went to my second Yoga class yesterday. I got very upset with myself cause I felt like the most uncoordinated person in the world. Almost started crying in public again. Thankfully, that hasn't happened in a long time. The moves & poses are complex. You don't do just one thing at a time. The teacher gave me a little talk after class. Some of the other ladies in the class have been coming for years. I shouldn't judge myself against them. She said I was strong in some ways. Remind me to ask her next week where I am strong. Today I am just a little sore. I wish I could go twice a week to the class. I'm going to have to figure out how to do that. My body isn't the only thing that has to be coordinated, so does the care giving for my mother.
Warm Tuna Salad
Ingredients:
2 cups Israeli couscous (I didn't have any couscous in the house so I used barley)
14 oz of fancy Italian tuna packaged with oil (I used a large can of normal tuna packed in water)
2tsp lemon zest
1/4 cup lemon juice
1/2 cup olive oil( too much, I will use my own good sense the next time)
3 T. capers (not enough capers for me, I easily used twice as many)
1/2 cup Kalamata olives ( again I didn't have any so I used a can of Safeway brand black olives)
1/2 cup roasted red bell peppers ( Ina used jarred, I made my own)
2 tsp garlic
1 cup scallions (seemed like an awful lot, so I just used about 3 scallions)
1/4 cup basil (I used those frozen Dorot basil cubes you can buy at Trader Joe's)
juice of 1/2 lemon
For some reason, Ina had one and a half tablespoons of salt in this. How much you use is between you & your doctor
pepper to taste
1. Make couscous ( or barley)
2. Combine tuna, lemon zest, 1/4 cup lemon juice, olive oil, capers, olives, red bell pepper, garlic & some pepper (Ina suggested 1 1/2 tsp)
3. Pour hot couscous or barley onto tuna mixture. Toss it all together, cover & set aside for 10-15 minutes stirring occasionally. Just before serving stir in scallions, basil & juice of 1/2 lemon.
Serve warm or at room temperature. It was delicious, but as I said, I'm reducing the olive oil the next time.
Every one should read "Heartburn" by Nora. It's a fictionalized account of her marriage to journalist Carl Bernstein, has lots of food talk & recipes mixed in with accounts of Carl's adultery. The book is much better than the movie starring Meryl Streep & Jack Nicholson. As I remember the movie has a cool soundtrack, though.
Ok, back to ME, of course.
My blood test came back normal! No more worries about my Parathyroid. There will be some follow up tests & maybe some fiddling with the meds they gave me. Why do I spend so much time & energy worrying?
I must be the first cancer patient in history to GAIN weight. I did lose some at the beginning cause I felt sick & had the radiation going on, but then after my first surgery & during chemotherapy I was ravenous. One reason is that they gave me steroids as part of a pre chemo "cocktail". At some point I started emotional eating as a treatment for my depression & anxiety about having uninsured cancer & lots of complications. The upshot is now I am dieting. I have lost 4 pounds in about 4 weeks, pretty unimpressive, but at least I'm not gaining any more.
Went to my second Yoga class yesterday. I got very upset with myself cause I felt like the most uncoordinated person in the world. Almost started crying in public again. Thankfully, that hasn't happened in a long time. The moves & poses are complex. You don't do just one thing at a time. The teacher gave me a little talk after class. Some of the other ladies in the class have been coming for years. I shouldn't judge myself against them. She said I was strong in some ways. Remind me to ask her next week where I am strong. Today I am just a little sore. I wish I could go twice a week to the class. I'm going to have to figure out how to do that. My body isn't the only thing that has to be coordinated, so does the care giving for my mother.
Sunday, October 12, 2014
Dedicated to Michael Corleone
"Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in."
The nurse at my urologist's office called the other day to say that a test I had came back with abnormal results. There was too much calcium & sodium. They both can cause more kidney stones (which I don't want). She called in a prescription for a medication, I have to have blood drawn in a week, decrease salt in my diet, see how the blood test comes out & then we will redo the original test in about a month. The excess calcium has nothing to do with what I eat or supplements I take. It's a metabolic problem.
Sounds simple & straightforward, right? True, until I started googling the medication & the blood test I'm having in a week. I keep promising myself I'm going to stop doing that, but I just can't seem to stop myself. I am not a doctor even if I know how to google "parathyroid". All it gets me is scared.
I never knew I had a kidney stone until I was hospitalized for my first surgery in August, 2013. That's the surgery that removed the cancer from my body. It's also the surgery & hospitalization for which I had no insurance. I paid the surgeon 1/2 of her fee ahead of time, paid the anesthesiologist in full & gave the hospital a deposit that would cover the predicted 4-7 day stay. I've never seen money disappear so fast in my life. I ended up being in the hospital 17 days cause of multiple complications. (This is how I ended up with a $150,000 hospital bill which they "discounted" to $60,000. More about that in a later post) One of those complications was the kidney stone that was accidentally discovered during an x-ray looking for something else. It was causing me no pain. I didn't know I had it. However, it was situated where it was blocking my kidney. Left untreated it would have destroyed my kidney. They tried several things that didn't get rid of the stone. The result was that when I was finally discharged from the hospital, in addition to a brand new ileostomy, I left with a tube in my back that was... (excuse the icky factor)...draining urine directly from my kidney into a collection bag attached to my leg. I had to cart that damn kidney tube around with me for 4 months. It delayed my chemotherapy by 2 months. My oncologist actually told me "We don't give chemotherapy to sick people". (I guess now I understand that chemo lowers your resistance to infection & that tube was a straight conduit for germs)
As an aside, I will now mention that between the tube in my back & the ileostomy (which I had for 8 months) getting dressed was a challenge. This was especially true the 24 hours I also had to wear a Holter monitor for a heart test. I was wearing the baggiest clothes I could find.
I think I hated that tube more than anything else. Any pressure on it hurt & it had bandages on it that had to be changed several times a week. When the stone was finally destroyed & the tube removed, I thought that would be the happiest day of my life. No one told me that the hole had to close on its own over a week or so. Icky factor warning. While the hole closed, I had to wear really THICK bandages on my back. The bandages hardly lasted an hour. The humiliation was unbelievable. Eight months later I was told that part of the tube broke off in my kidney during the removal procedure. I am not happy about that. I've been assured that it is not dangerous. Hmmmm.... I hope not.
Remind me of this wrinkle the next time I say most of this trouble is in my rear view window.
The nurse at my urologist's office called the other day to say that a test I had came back with abnormal results. There was too much calcium & sodium. They both can cause more kidney stones (which I don't want). She called in a prescription for a medication, I have to have blood drawn in a week, decrease salt in my diet, see how the blood test comes out & then we will redo the original test in about a month. The excess calcium has nothing to do with what I eat or supplements I take. It's a metabolic problem.
Sounds simple & straightforward, right? True, until I started googling the medication & the blood test I'm having in a week. I keep promising myself I'm going to stop doing that, but I just can't seem to stop myself. I am not a doctor even if I know how to google "parathyroid". All it gets me is scared.
I never knew I had a kidney stone until I was hospitalized for my first surgery in August, 2013. That's the surgery that removed the cancer from my body. It's also the surgery & hospitalization for which I had no insurance. I paid the surgeon 1/2 of her fee ahead of time, paid the anesthesiologist in full & gave the hospital a deposit that would cover the predicted 4-7 day stay. I've never seen money disappear so fast in my life. I ended up being in the hospital 17 days cause of multiple complications. (This is how I ended up with a $150,000 hospital bill which they "discounted" to $60,000. More about that in a later post) One of those complications was the kidney stone that was accidentally discovered during an x-ray looking for something else. It was causing me no pain. I didn't know I had it. However, it was situated where it was blocking my kidney. Left untreated it would have destroyed my kidney. They tried several things that didn't get rid of the stone. The result was that when I was finally discharged from the hospital, in addition to a brand new ileostomy, I left with a tube in my back that was... (excuse the icky factor)...draining urine directly from my kidney into a collection bag attached to my leg. I had to cart that damn kidney tube around with me for 4 months. It delayed my chemotherapy by 2 months. My oncologist actually told me "We don't give chemotherapy to sick people". (I guess now I understand that chemo lowers your resistance to infection & that tube was a straight conduit for germs)
As an aside, I will now mention that between the tube in my back & the ileostomy (which I had for 8 months) getting dressed was a challenge. This was especially true the 24 hours I also had to wear a Holter monitor for a heart test. I was wearing the baggiest clothes I could find.
I think I hated that tube more than anything else. Any pressure on it hurt & it had bandages on it that had to be changed several times a week. When the stone was finally destroyed & the tube removed, I thought that would be the happiest day of my life. No one told me that the hole had to close on its own over a week or so. Icky factor warning. While the hole closed, I had to wear really THICK bandages on my back. The bandages hardly lasted an hour. The humiliation was unbelievable. Eight months later I was told that part of the tube broke off in my kidney during the removal procedure. I am not happy about that. I've been assured that it is not dangerous. Hmmmm.... I hope not.
Remind me of this wrinkle the next time I say most of this trouble is in my rear view window.
Tuesday, October 7, 2014
A nice outing
Tuesday, October 7, 2014
I did go for the yoga class, but was disappointed when I found that the teacher was sick so there would be no class. As a "newbie" my name wasn't yet on the list to call ahead of time. However, the trip to the Oncology offices was not a wasted trip. Far from it. I poked around the resource room acquainting myself with the loads of reading material & brochures for various programs. I only now feel ready to participate in some of these programs. I don't know how people find the time or energy to do some of these things while they are in the midst of treatment. Since the last surgery 5 weeks ago, I think I can finally begin to realize that most of this is in my rear view mirror (with help of my doctors & G-d). For so long, one thing after another kept complicating my recovery. I was always on alert, waiting for "the other shoe to drop" (shades of PTSD anyone?).
When I walked into the resource room, a feeling a deja vu came over me & I realized this was the room my mom & I brought my sister's wig to donate 8 years ago after she died(from the same cancer that I had). They have a wig lending program there just like a library. I started talking to the volunteer behind the desk & we had a wonderful long conversation. Another lady walked in who also hadn't received notice about the class being cancelled. She had a cute little therapy dog with her. Lily (the dog) came over to me & let me stroke her ears for the longest time. She looked like a very small cocker spaniel-"parti" colored her human mommy told me. I could tell she had been around for a while cause her muzzle was graying. She showed me some of her tricks which were impressive like picking up the end of her leash & standing against a person to give it back(especially helpful for people who can't bend over to pick up dropped items). Then the lady behind the desk said "Isn't that something how she can do all of that on only 3 legs". Three legs? I hadn't even noticed! The lady with her then held her up so I could see her scars. I then heard the sad but ultimately successful saga of how this had happened. Poor Lily was minding her own business in her fenced back yard when a neighborhood dog escaped his fenced back yard, jumped into hers & attacked her viciously. The owner ran out of the house & pulled her dog away from the attacking dog (incredibly dangerous, but I would have done the same thing). The lady suffered 2 fractured vertebrae in the process of saving her dog. Lily's left front leg had to be amputated. Apparently the vet bills alone were $8,000 & the case ended up in court. Sad story, but I was so glad I heard it with Lily right there in front of me looking very content.
After I finished in the resource room, I went to the lobby to shop. Yes, shop. They were having a fund raising boutique sale (purses, scarves, hats,jewelry & purses). Apparently they will be there the first Monday of the month until the winter holidays. Fun, fun, fun.... Mostly I just window shopped, but somehow I did justify a PINK wallet.
I did go for the yoga class, but was disappointed when I found that the teacher was sick so there would be no class. As a "newbie" my name wasn't yet on the list to call ahead of time. However, the trip to the Oncology offices was not a wasted trip. Far from it. I poked around the resource room acquainting myself with the loads of reading material & brochures for various programs. I only now feel ready to participate in some of these programs. I don't know how people find the time or energy to do some of these things while they are in the midst of treatment. Since the last surgery 5 weeks ago, I think I can finally begin to realize that most of this is in my rear view mirror (with help of my doctors & G-d). For so long, one thing after another kept complicating my recovery. I was always on alert, waiting for "the other shoe to drop" (shades of PTSD anyone?).
When I walked into the resource room, a feeling a deja vu came over me & I realized this was the room my mom & I brought my sister's wig to donate 8 years ago after she died(from the same cancer that I had). They have a wig lending program there just like a library. I started talking to the volunteer behind the desk & we had a wonderful long conversation. Another lady walked in who also hadn't received notice about the class being cancelled. She had a cute little therapy dog with her. Lily (the dog) came over to me & let me stroke her ears for the longest time. She looked like a very small cocker spaniel-"parti" colored her human mommy told me. I could tell she had been around for a while cause her muzzle was graying. She showed me some of her tricks which were impressive like picking up the end of her leash & standing against a person to give it back(especially helpful for people who can't bend over to pick up dropped items). Then the lady behind the desk said "Isn't that something how she can do all of that on only 3 legs". Three legs? I hadn't even noticed! The lady with her then held her up so I could see her scars. I then heard the sad but ultimately successful saga of how this had happened. Poor Lily was minding her own business in her fenced back yard when a neighborhood dog escaped his fenced back yard, jumped into hers & attacked her viciously. The owner ran out of the house & pulled her dog away from the attacking dog (incredibly dangerous, but I would have done the same thing). The lady suffered 2 fractured vertebrae in the process of saving her dog. Lily's left front leg had to be amputated. Apparently the vet bills alone were $8,000 & the case ended up in court. Sad story, but I was so glad I heard it with Lily right there in front of me looking very content.
After I finished in the resource room, I went to the lobby to shop. Yes, shop. They were having a fund raising boutique sale (purses, scarves, hats,jewelry & purses). Apparently they will be there the first Monday of the month until the winter holidays. Fun, fun, fun.... Mostly I just window shopped, but somehow I did justify a PINK wallet.
Sunday, October 5, 2014
Trying to get back to "normal"
I've been a maniac about writing in my journal (now on volume 4 since starting in November of 2013) but neglecting this blog. One reason is that it's so daunting for me to figure out where to draw the line between public vs private information. In my journal I rant about my illness, my finances, my family relationships, perceived wrongs from "friends", etc. I don't want to rant about private things on a blog. Recently 2 people have asked me when I'm writing my book. Me? write a book? I think I need to become more disciplined about blogging first. I wish I had started my journal at the beginning of my diagnosis (February-March 2013, I have to look up the exact date by digging through my files of medical reports & bills which now fill a black bankers box I got at Walgreens).
A few days ago, a friend sent me a link to a "cancer memoir". I immediately read it, primarily to get an idea of what/ how I should write about my experiences. Very oddly, it gave me a lot of self confidence because it was so poorly written.(I'm not sure I can write very well, but I know I can write better than that author) I read it to the end, but was glad when I was done. I ended up not liking the author very much in addition to disliking the poor writing. I know that cancer stories should not be a game of who had it worse, it's all relative to the person who is going through it, but she irritated me by "whining" about medical issues that I considered "easy". She also griped about how expensive it is to have cancer even with insurance (I had no insurance for about the first 8 months of my treatment) but then talked about shopping for pretty things, eating out & traveling. Well enough about her, what about me?
Since I last blogged, I've finished the 2nd series of chemotherapy, had 2 more operations (making a total of 3 in a year). I now have clocked 30 days in the hospital between August of 2013 & August of 2014. I've had a couple of CT scans,various x-rays & 2 more PET scans. (Oh and yet ANOTHER colonoscopy, making a total of four in just under a year and a 1/2) I also had a ride in an ambulance leading to my 2nd operation . The most recent (3rd one) operation was 5 weeks ago. It was a same day surgery. I had never had one of those before. I discovered what the difference is between in patient & out patient surgery. When it is out patient, nurses shout at you as you are coming out of anesthesia "Wake up, wake up, wake up, take a deep breath, wake up" on an endless loop. They irritate you into opening your eyes & breathing just to make the loop stop. (I'm exaggerating just a little here, they were nice nurses). They then tell you it's time to get up & go to the bathroom. Huh? Are you nuts? It took 2 people & 2 percocets to get me down the hall to the bathroom. Before I knew it I was in the car being driven home. I was scared & very dubious but it did work out. Someone was here with my mom & me the first two nights, cause as you might remember I am the primary caregiver for my mom.
The last 2 operations had nothing to do with my cancer, they were to correct & address problems connected to the first surgery when they took the cancer out of me. Everything points to the cancer being GONE! I see the oncologist every three months for a couple of years & get my blood tested whenever one of my doctors says to. My oncologist is my favorite doctor. I call him my quarterback cause as far as I'm concerned he's in charge. He has a sense of humor that I like. He refers to my "52 doctors" cause of all of the complications I've had. I don't really have 52 doctors, it's more like 7 or 8.
Tomorrow I am going to try to take a step in the right direction of getting at least 1/2 way in shape. I've been on the sofa recovering from one thing after another for almost 2 years. I am a slug. I'm going to try a yoga class at one of the Oncology offices. I figure if I bomb out I'll be in good company. I am so not ready to try this at a regular gym or yoga studio. I also have one more week of not lifting, pushing, pulling, carrying, etc any thing weighing more than a gallon of milk. Hopefully, I will be able to write an update tomorrow to let you know how the class went.
Upcoming topics:
The story of a tube that broke off in my kidney during a procedure last December & how it recently came back to haunt me & the fact that my medical bills have been reduced to "only" $18,000.
A few days ago, a friend sent me a link to a "cancer memoir". I immediately read it, primarily to get an idea of what/ how I should write about my experiences. Very oddly, it gave me a lot of self confidence because it was so poorly written.(I'm not sure I can write very well, but I know I can write better than that author) I read it to the end, but was glad when I was done. I ended up not liking the author very much in addition to disliking the poor writing. I know that cancer stories should not be a game of who had it worse, it's all relative to the person who is going through it, but she irritated me by "whining" about medical issues that I considered "easy". She also griped about how expensive it is to have cancer even with insurance (I had no insurance for about the first 8 months of my treatment) but then talked about shopping for pretty things, eating out & traveling. Well enough about her, what about me?
Since I last blogged, I've finished the 2nd series of chemotherapy, had 2 more operations (making a total of 3 in a year). I now have clocked 30 days in the hospital between August of 2013 & August of 2014. I've had a couple of CT scans,various x-rays & 2 more PET scans. (Oh and yet ANOTHER colonoscopy, making a total of four in just under a year and a 1/2) I also had a ride in an ambulance leading to my 2nd operation . The most recent (3rd one) operation was 5 weeks ago. It was a same day surgery. I had never had one of those before. I discovered what the difference is between in patient & out patient surgery. When it is out patient, nurses shout at you as you are coming out of anesthesia "Wake up, wake up, wake up, take a deep breath, wake up" on an endless loop. They irritate you into opening your eyes & breathing just to make the loop stop. (I'm exaggerating just a little here, they were nice nurses). They then tell you it's time to get up & go to the bathroom. Huh? Are you nuts? It took 2 people & 2 percocets to get me down the hall to the bathroom. Before I knew it I was in the car being driven home. I was scared & very dubious but it did work out. Someone was here with my mom & me the first two nights, cause as you might remember I am the primary caregiver for my mom.
The last 2 operations had nothing to do with my cancer, they were to correct & address problems connected to the first surgery when they took the cancer out of me. Everything points to the cancer being GONE! I see the oncologist every three months for a couple of years & get my blood tested whenever one of my doctors says to. My oncologist is my favorite doctor. I call him my quarterback cause as far as I'm concerned he's in charge. He has a sense of humor that I like. He refers to my "52 doctors" cause of all of the complications I've had. I don't really have 52 doctors, it's more like 7 or 8.
Tomorrow I am going to try to take a step in the right direction of getting at least 1/2 way in shape. I've been on the sofa recovering from one thing after another for almost 2 years. I am a slug. I'm going to try a yoga class at one of the Oncology offices. I figure if I bomb out I'll be in good company. I am so not ready to try this at a regular gym or yoga studio. I also have one more week of not lifting, pushing, pulling, carrying, etc any thing weighing more than a gallon of milk. Hopefully, I will be able to write an update tomorrow to let you know how the class went.
Upcoming topics:
The story of a tube that broke off in my kidney during a procedure last December & how it recently came back to haunt me & the fact that my medical bills have been reduced to "only" $18,000.
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