The Outlaws

When I was a very small girl,I became acquainted with the term "outlaws".  My Uncle Artie coined the term to refer to the men & women who married into the Siegel family. He told my mom that they weren't  inlaws, but outlaws. The Siegel family was large so there were lots of outlaws &cousins. My Siegel grandfather &his brother married my Siegel grandmother &her sister( a lot like twins marrying twins) so all of us were proficient at figuring out who was a first,second,once  removed etc cousin. Unfortunately I never had the pleasure of knowing my Siegel grandmother as she died suddenly at a tragically young age. My grandfather remarried. Her name was Fan.  She was an outlaw I guess but I knew very little about her. I assume she is the one who oversaw the huge spreads of food when the family gathered in their house at 205 Church Street. There were tables laden with everyone's favorite foods.  Along with the various varieties of fish,bagels &  salads there was always some Rice Krispies for my sister.

We used to have family reunions while my grandfather was still alive. They were held in a park in Lancaster,Pennsylvania around the time of my grandfather's birthday in June. They were large gatherings with many active children running  around. I remember barbecues but I don't remember  anyone in the family who  could do that. It must have been catered. Some of the cousins  have talked in recent years about resurrecting the reunion, that would be much fun. Some of my cousins I have not seen in 10 years. This is my fault I know for living in Arizona and  not Massachusettes,NewYok,New Jersey, Maryland Pennsylvania or Virginia.

Unclet Artie as I  said coined the term outlaw, so he will be  the first I talk about. He was so funny,loving and he genuinely liked other people especially children. He always had something funny to say.  He never lost his Brooklyn accent so the jokes always sounded funnier because of his delivery. He danced with all of the little girls at weddings& Bar Mitzvahs. He let us put our feet  on top of his shoes while we danced. He had a nickname for me. I was "Pammy from Miami". ( I wasn't but it rhymed & it was funny  so I loved it). Uncle Artie worked at the Pentagon.  We always wanted him to tell us what he did there. Some of us were convinced  he was a secret agent of some kind.  When he explained what he did it never made any  sense. I was sure he was under orders not to tell anyone about his top  secret job. I still don't know  what  he did  Maybe someday his kids will tell me.

At least one of the outlaws came with a partner & that would  be Aunt Maureen.  Aunt Maureen was beautiful (inside and out) & vivacious.  To make her entrance into our family even more exciting, she brought her parents with her. I apologize that my memories of her dad are fuzzy, but I think he was the pet wrangler in that family. Àunt Maureen's mother was a force of nature. She too was beautiful.  Her name was Aunt Reggie. She was exotic (at least to me). She had a British accent.  She taught us how to get the best suntans (while it was still OK to get suntans). The secret was to mix  iodine & baby  oil, slather yourself up & then sit  with a reflector aimed at your face. Both Aunt Maureen & Aunt Reggie were born to be married.  They were also never say die matchmakers. They were always dressed impeccably( they also offered fashion advice). I remember Aunt Maureen &Uncle Charles stopping by our house in Illinois on their way back from their honeymoon. They were a lesson in newlywed  romance. You could see the love in the air. If any of my cousins have a picture of their wedding party, I was a flower girl. I had to stand still for the longest time during the ceremony & I was gently reprimanded by my mother  afterwards because I had been sliding  my foot back & forth. I have a bracelet  that was a gift to me for being in the wedding  that I still treasure & wear. I'm pretty sure it was before Uncle Charles & Aunt Maureen's wedding that the infamous "locked door freak out"of my mom occurred at-- I think it was the Waldorf in NYC. We had connecting rooms. One of us cousins locked the connecting door leaving  a bunch of us kids alone  in an upper story room with wide open windows. I dont know how we got out, but no one fell out the window. I was honored to be present when Aunt Maureen  remarried after being widowed,  it was a beautiful wedding in her Japanese garden. I'm so glad Morris Tischler made her happy.

Unfortunately, Uncle Peter is a far away memory, but certain things are imprinted in my brain. He was kind, warm & soft-spoken. I remember loving him so much it hurt. He & my Aunt Anne brought me a native American doll from Oklahoma. Uncle Peter was a physician with, I'm not sure what it was called  then, but something along the lines of "Indian health Services". Maybe one of the Ball children can let me know what it was called. He left us much too soon.

If Aunt Maureen came with a partner, then Patricia came with a whole posse.  Patricia married my youngest Uncle, so she is only about 10 years older than me.  She felt too young to be an Aunt& really wanted to just be called Patricia, but I could never do that. These days skipping the "Aunt" has been easier.  She was (and is) beautiful & sophisticated. I looked up to her. She brought along her parents, sister, a few cousins& the most glamorous aunts ever.  They were all gorgeous & very well put together. The Siegel family definitely needed their infusion of (I hate the word, but...) CLASS. Patricia & Uncle Stanley took me along to an outstanding cultural experience(Mikhaiĺ Baryshnikov). Sorry to report that no matter how impressed and excited I was, I could barely stay awake  due to some late night  teen shenanigans the previous night.  I don't even remember what the shenanigans had been. By the way Patricia heard of Ravi Shankar before I did.

Aunt Selma was mysterious to me. First of all she never seemed to age. I had a couple of firsts at her house. One of those things was caviar. Oh my goodness, I've been addicted ever since. Aunt Selma also offered fashion advice. I was slow to find my style. I think I needed all the advice I could get. I remember show tunes always being on the stereo. I've been  addicted  to  those  ever since also.

I have one last Siegel outlaw & that was my Uncle Myer Nathan. He was a quiet sweet man. Maybe he wasn't always quiet. Maybe it  was just when he was surrounded by Siegels. He had a lot of extra family responsibilities due to my Aunt's poor health. From my vantage point he did a fantastic job. I know his children loved him very much.

I had one outlaw on my mother's side of the  family. Uncle Bob was a character, not a laugh out loud character, but just very unique. He was an entomologist & taught at St Lawrence University. He had no patience with us kids who were afraid of "bugs". He had a very distinctive  voice. I can still hear it. I wish I could see his reaction to a local business here in Tucson   "Uncle  Bob's Popcorn".

I know some of these memories may be &probably are romanticized a little. Unless I made an outright  mistake I ask my cousins to let me keep my fantasies. I also know that everything wasn't always "hunky dory". I know not everyone always got along, but I also know everyone loved one another. I left out someone's 2nd marriage cause it didn't work out & I figure that's not my busines to write about .

Thanks got to Uncle Artie for the outlaws joke. It stuck in my mind all of these years &gave me the idea for this post.

Addendum: My cousin Ellen messaged me on Facebook this morning. She said she liked this post &ŕeminded me that Aunt Reggie's husband's  name was David Hayman. She also said it was OK to talk about her stepfather Ralph Klein. Yes, for a while at least my aunt's name was Anne Klein. Ellen told me that Pat(Patricia) used to refer to "Ralph Klein time" as opposed to Siegel time. Ralph liked to stick to the schedule like my dad did.  They were prompt/ready to leave at the time they said they were leaving. The Siegels had famously long goodbyes which always put us behind scedule. Thank you Ellen.