Interesting to read my last post again. The interim has been almost chaotic. My mother has had an infection that required her to be admitted to the hospital for IV antibiotics . She then went to rehab for 2 weeks to try to regain her strength. She is now home and healthy though not yet back to her strength and abilities she had before this infection started. Looking back I realize this had probably been going on for at least 6-8 weeks. She is now receiving home heath. There are therapists, nurses & aides coming & going. I am grateful for the help. It won't last forever, but I will try to make the most of it now.
The day my mom went to the hospital was Friday April 3. Her condition deteriorated throughout the day. I was in touch with her Primary Care Provider who was less than helpful. I've blogged before how dismissively they have responded to my concerns, suggestions &questions. I had had it with the symbolic condescending pats on the head they gave me. However I thought we had finally come to an agreement to respect one another's voice. WRONG . I was trying to prepare for the first Passover Seder that night while monitoring & helping my mom. Thank goodness for the wonderful Charlotte who was here to help for part of the day. I won't detail the phone calls back & forth with the PCP at this time , but the gist of the message I got was that I was overreacting. She almost , but not quite told me to give her 2 aspirin & call her in the morning. Just before the third cup of wine at the Seder I called the home health nurse for advice. She told me to take her to the emergency room. The rest of the family agreed & I called an ambulance. The severity of what was wrong assured me we had done the right thing. The PCP called me the next day to see how my mom was. I told her she was in the hospital. She seemed genuinely shocked, but of course offered no apologies. (I think lawyers must teach a class to them titled " Never Aologize").
The reason I am blogging on this subject is that this is instead of an angry letter to the PCP. I don't have to worry about saying it just right, I can just express myself without endless drafts of a letter I would probably never send. I was ready to fire the PCP, I just hadn't made a final decision. On the 15th I received a letter from the PCP firing my MOTHER as a patient. I was angry but not entirely surprised. Frankly what made me the angriest was that she had kicked us to the curb before I had a chance to do it to her. What can I say? One of my least attractive traits is that I don't forgive or forget.
Her letter to me looked like it had been written by an attorney. (I really have nothing against attorneys, but realize this is my second snarky remark about them). It said they were giving us thirty days notice because they could not meet the family's expectations. Damn straight! This was the most honest thing she ever said. My expectations include listening to me as much as I listened to them. I expect that they respect my religious / spiritual beliefs. I expect that my mother be treated no matter her age. I expect infections to be carefully treated. I expect not to be subjected to hockum about weird diet fads & their proselytizing about Oregon's assisted suicide law. My mother has been seeing this PCP & her nurse for about six years. The first time the nurse came to our house she said my mom was on her"way out". I expect them to respect my requests that we not talk about death in our house. My mom wants to live. She has said it over & over & may she live for a long time to come. I expect them to know that a medication should be discontinued because of certain lab results. I expect an honest recounting of recent health problems my mother has had. (A hospitalization 3 years ago was a result of my mom's sodium getting to a dangerously low level while under the PCP's watch. The PCP continually refers to that hospitalization as being because my mom was constipated-She was but that's not why she was admitted to the hospital). Why did I put up with this nonsense ? My mom liked her & I thought by being vigilant I could keep the PCP & her nurse on top of things. All I did was irritate them.
I'm not considering it now but if I ever do decide to sue them, it may be for religious discrimination as much as malpractice. Jews just don't talk about death especially in front of the patient. They questioned me frequently about my Healthcare power of attorney & advance directives. I told them repeatedly that the I WAS my mom's POA,presented proof & more than once explained to them my mom tore up her advance directives over 10 years ago after she saw the effect they had on us as a family during my dad's final illness. They didn't seem to understand the difference between a power of attorney & advance directives. We didn't fit the cookie cutter mold of their expectations.
I would be less than honest if I did not mention that I made a huge mistake with these providers by letting professional/personal boundaries disappear because for a while I thought they were our friends. When you are greeted with a hug, sometimes your good sense goes out the window. I won't cross that line again.
By the way, I had a new excellent doctor for my mom within 48 hours. When I talked to their intake person, I was open what had happened with the previous provider. I expressed my philosophy & was assured that it was their philosophy too.
One last jab at this (I almost said crackpot but that would be wrong wouldn't it?) woman is that I think the attorneys didn't tell her to never leave an angry, incoherent voicemail. I'm never erasing it.
No comments:
Post a Comment