This is a follow up to a previous blog post We Don't Live In Oregon: Caregiving Part Umpteen and a Half. Events yesterday were too weird to believe. I went to see my Internist for a routine checkup. She works in the same clinic as the provider who "fired" my mom as a patient because they could not meet "family expectations". This was my second visit to the clinic since my mom was "termed". (I've been told that is a preferred word to "fired") Both times I prepared myself for running into my mom's former provider. I would keep a blank expression on my face & look past her if the situation arose. It had occurred to me to switch doctors, but I really like the one I have. I think she likes me. We are a good fit. She's been nothing but supportive through all the cancer saga. I didn't want to give that up just so I would never have to run into the other provider. The fly in the ointment is that my mom's former provider is the owner of the practice. My doctor is her employee.
Yesterday I was called back from the waiting room for my appointment. My vitals were taken & I was shown into an exam room. I should have known something was up as that is not the usual routine there. (Usually I would be shown back to the waiting room & called back to the exam room when the doctor was ready.) I waited a few minutes in the exam room, there was a knock at the door & the Nurse Practitioner who was my mom's former PCP walked into the room & proceeded to literally yell at me for about 60 seconds about how she had heard from 3 separate people that I had been saying "disparaging" things about her. She never took a breath. She said "it must stop" & if it didn't that I "would no longer be welcome at the practice". She then turned around & left the room. I was completely blindsided. I thought my privacy had been invaded. I wanted to flee immediately. I wish I could say I wanted to follow her down the hall doing my own shouting but I'm not that person. I started pacing the room, I opened the door, I didn't want any more surprises. My doctor came in. She knew what was going to happen before hand, but was not in the position to interfere. We had a frank discussion. I was quite agitated. I said I had been afraid of conflict (tho not to this degree) , but I didn't want to change doctors. She said she would understand if I did & she could give me some names. Then we went on to have a normal appointment. She wants me to see yet another specialist. This will be about my 10th doctor. I made a follow up appointment for 3 months & got the hell out of there.
I went home & almost asked the caregiver who was with my mom for one of her cigarettes. (I haven't smoked in about 2 and 1/2 years.) Instead I ate two bowls of ice cream. Yeah getting fat is really going to show her!
I've thought about this since last evening & have come to some decisions. I guess I do have to change doctors. My psyche simply can take no more stress. I could not picture myself ever walking into that place again. I'll wait on the referral to the nephrologist, then call my doctor & ask for recommendations for a new provider. I will miss her, but I see no other option. I did some googling to find how to lodge a formal complaint with the State. I had considered this before, but thought things would just calm down. I want peace & happiness & feelings of positivity in our lives & our home. However, after yesterday I concluded that people need to be protected from such unprofessional behavior.
I have no idea who these 3 people are who the nurse practitioner says I have been saying disparaging things about her to. One of them may be my former employee who I "termed"(after late night inebriated phone calls, missing pills & lies including continuing to present herself as a CNA more than a year after her certification had expired.) The two of them are friends.I said very little about the matter to that person. I am too busy to be obsessed with spreading gossip. This brings me to my final thought on the subject. How would she thinks she knows that I have been saying disparaging things about her if she wasn't talking about confidential patient information at inappropriate times & places?
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